How to turn negative attitude into positive mood - mind over matter person
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Okay, I am not a negative person. I tend to view the “glass” as “half full” as opposed to being “half empty”. But I arrived home from work recently feeling weird: I was moved by the plight of a friend of mine who recently quit a job over what now seems like kind of “silly”. Negativity. Yes, she quit a job because people around her were all negative and it was getting to her, and she left. I mean – who would do that? In a recession. It seems bizarre. It got me thinking a lot. Negative moods are amazing things. They can possess us like a demon and have such control over us. This can bring on things like depraved behaviour or even suicide. The mind is such a complicated thing. I want to stick here to negative moods.
Why do we feel “negative” sometimes? What causes us to become negative, and develop a mood of negativity? Or have you ever felt that sometimes it is normal to feel negative now and then? It’s often a way of telling the world that “hey, I am not okay” or possibly a more subtle plea for help. There are people who suffer negative moods and don’t know how to get beyond negative feelings. They struggle with it. Some cope better than others. We tend to avoid negative people, have you noticed that? We move out of the family house if things get too stressful or negative, and sometimes we quit that job if things get too stressful or negative there. We steer clear of negative situations or stress. And that is normal. Sometimes things are too much for us, and we find ways of releasing the tension or stress. I have a friend who goes to bed at night and before sleeping, she bugs everyone with texts and calls – discussing all kinds of negative things, problems and worries, unloading on people, and then what does she do - hangs up and goes to sleep, having “exorcised her demons”. (Yes, Cheeky Girl – get a damn answering machine! Yes, I did!) Face it, some people just unload on us, and it can be a pain. We end up inheriting their stress and becoming more negative. Like something has been passed on to us. Sound familiar?
Negative moods should be dealt with and confronted simply and calmly. The negative mood we experience can be several things; it can be a consequence of chronic unresolved stress or a behavioural way of influencing people around us. Or Both. Due to the complicated nature of these emotions, some people may require a visit to someone who can help them professionally. (This might be the case when it comes to experiencing long periods of sadness, depression or hopelessness.) I think again of my friend who quit her job at the bank.
But it’s quite okay to feel negative once in a while. We have all had ups and downs at times, right? But frequent negative moods might be a sign that Stress is starting to have a damaging effect. Chronic negative moods can be serious if we ignore them, and they will lead to ill health, problems in relationships and losses in productivity. Amongst other things. A person deep in the well of negativity will think the world is a mass of fear and confusion. Sometimes the media take advantage of things like this, and will use it as a weapon for some purpose. Even politicians will use it – some EU countries counted on negativity to get the Lisbon Treaty rejected, for a while anyway. Politicians can get elected on a negativity ticket. It could be argued that negativity has some responsibility for the financial depression we are all experiencing. (I think it’s more complicated than this!) Perhaps, but it can’t last forever.
Here’s the inside deal on negative moods. Negative mood is quite often magnified when we focus on our feelings, rather than focussing on the cause of the problem or its solution. It gets to the point where – the more we try to focus on changing how badly we feel, we find it is more difficult to change those feelings. If we are not experiencing the normal adjustments in our everyday life (like sleeping on it or thinking it over or sharing a problem with a friend or getting a second opinion on something), then it’s time to get proper help and seek a professional opinion.
In actual fact, feelings usually follow, rather than precede thinking.
Read that sentence again. There’s a myth here that has to be debunked. It’s totally wrong and false to think that you must first feel good before you can do something.
Refocus your thinking, and your feelings will change.
Check this out. You actually have more control over your feelings than you have realised. Okay, yes, it takes effort and some work to find this out, but you will. Even little changes can result in an immediate difference in how you feel. Turning a negative feeling into a positive feeling is not easy. It’s not impossible either.
Are we talking about irrational thoughts here? Yes. They have little basis in reality. But little things now can become big things later. People will get bogged down by some feelings. But remember there is a flip side to most negative situations. Some have become kind of curious clichés, you will hear them in conversations.
“First rule of being in a hole – stop digging.”
“If you are the piggy in the middle – get out of the middle.”
“If at first you don’t succeed...”
You could fill a darn book with that stuff. Or one of these HubPages even. I know a guy who is terrific at Poker, but he ridicules and provokes his opponents and makes them feel small and inadequate. They lose their concentration and start playing emotionally and forget to think logically. Bam! Big mistake. And what does he say to me afterwards: they are weak! Actually – he exposes their weakness. Why mention this here? Well, he knows a hell of a lot about negativity, that’s why. Arnold Schwarzenegger used to undermine his opponents in bodybuilding contests many years ago, before becoming an actor. He's a decent guy, really. He knew how to find a weak spot and exploit it. He gained success by exploiting how people think and feel. He succeeded through exploiting negativity and irrationality.
(Look at Arnie now!) Those irrational things are things we can combat, we may think we are a failure but when viewed objectively we may actually be a success.
The last thing we want to do when feeling negative is to discover the source of what is causing the negative mood. But actually, it’s the first thing we should do (perhaps after sitting down and having a nice cup of tea! Ok, that’s how I do it!). We feel there is little we want to do when we are down. But the solution is Action, not inaction. Even if we feel we can’t do something about it, it’s better to do something rather than do nothing. It’s important to do something. And I mean ANYTHING.
Yes, go for a drive, a run, a walk, exercise yourself, play tennis, maybe read a book or magazine, do a crossword, knit – if you can do that! Draw, paint, visit someone, or call a friend. Seeing yourself in this position and then taking action is very important.
Two things I don’t recommend. Drugs and drink. They won’t help, believe me. They just prolong the agony, the pain, the angst...and remove what control you have over things. This is the equivalent of just giving in to it. Don't. Take positive action. And you don't have to deal with negative moods alone. It's okay to share your problems with others. They will listen. Even the ones with Answering machines.
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CommentsLoading...
Well written young lady, drink deff doesn't help for sure, that I know.
"Okay, I am not a negative person. I tend to view the “glass” as “half full” as opposed to being “half empty”.
I wanna know who's been drinking my water!
But you are right, you can control your thoughts.
It's the one thing we have total control of.
Hy Maxine,
Congrats on being a new browser around Hub Pages, there are some great writers here, with great Hubs on a bewildering amount of subjects! It puts the Reader's Digest in the Halfpenny place! Heh! Yes, there is this dynamic - the feelings versus thinking idea that pervades in human behaviour, and it has a lot to do with how we deal with stress, and negativity. It's in interesting area that we don't hear much about. I appreciate your comments. Ok, about the 2 numbers at the top, the one on the left beside the title of the Hub tells me how Hub Pages have rated the Hub here. It's based on a combination of things, including how many people read this. So your comment and those of others have meant that its at that level now. The better the Hub, the higher the Hub Rating. The other number beside my picture is my personal Hub rating as a Hubber, and is based on the quality and overall number of Hubs I have created and written. Some people's rating are up to 100. A great score to reach! Read the masses of Help notes and Hubs on Hub Pages as they will guide you to getting good Hub ratings. I would advise on making good quality Hubs, and develop a good writing style, that is easy to understand. Perhaps your rating will rise with each good Hub your write! I wish you good Hub Ratings! Hopefully, it will rise over time, as these Hubs gets read by more people...
And speaking of this...
To HealthTip:
Thank you for the comments here! Yes, drink does not help! It's great to get your views! Visit often!
To Sabreblade:
I laughed when I saw this comment! Maybe someone spiked that water with something? Maybe I WAS drinking your water after all! LOL! Yes, we can control our thoughts, they define our actions and help us take control of what is bringing the stress into our lives. I think we do have that control, and it's one of life's Special Gifts. Thanks for your input. Opinions are always appreciated. Take care! : )
Cheeky, you are right on the money with this topic. Those negative feelings can be so destructive and it can be quite a battle to prevent them from just taking over.
I promise I will read yer other hubs tonight !
To Dolores Monet:
Hy Dolores, yes those feelings can take over but only if we allow them. You are right, it can be a battle. But talking to others and sharing can be a great way to lessen the impact of those negative feelings. Also, seeing the effect it has on us can cause us to deal with it. Understanding it more makes it somehow easier to deal with negative feelings. Thanks for the comments. Your presence makes a difference!
To HealthTip:
Aw that is sweet! Thank you, healthTip. I sure appreciate all feedback and opinions. Take care, my friend.
For starters -- the glass is twice as big as it has to be! ... LOL ... You said - "Negative mood is quite often magnified when we focus on our feelings, rather than focusing on the cause of the problem or its solution."
So true - 1- State the problem 2- State the solution. 3- NEVER look at the problem again. It is a mind over matter situation.... I deal with Mind over mattress every morning when the alarm goes off.... LOL Much the same with negative, hear the alarm then get up and move on!
Thanks Cheeky Girl
Love - Light - Laughter
To Neil:
I am chuckling here at the first comment! Well, you have a good self-deprecating humour! That's a good healthy sign! But yes, the whole point is that any one of us can change the way we view the problems by simply being objective and resetting the mindset. And yes, my alarm does the same thing most mornings. I'm usually awake just before the darn things buzzes. It's always good to get your nice comments, Neil! Blessings to you!
Hi cheeky, I really like how you put this hub together. To me it is the tops so far. You rock.Exercise is very good, or go beat a pillow, just get up and go. It helps change attitude from negative to gratitude, it like clears the rubbish. Have a Wonderful Thanksgiving. Blessings friend
Hi Cheeky Girl,
That's really great advice, thanks!
To Skye2day:
Gosh, thank you for the comments here! My Hubs tend to be um...a bit unusual, but I write what I like writing about rather than chase the subject, if you get my meaning. You make a good point about clearing out the rubbish. Have a Nice Thanksgiving too! : )
To strictlydating:
I am glad to be of service, my friend. It's nice to have appreciative fans! : )
very good positive thinking from you cheeky...
Thanks Trsmd, I welcome the comments! This is the place to come to Think Positive. Wow, talk about positive! My rating has gone up! Gosh! Gonna prepare another Hub now! : )
many a times i do take events in life as negative..thanks for such a wonderful blog
To Sweetie1:
Thanks for your comment here. you deserve good things in life, Sweetie1!
I guess we all get those "down" or negative feelings at times. But they don't last. We can control our thoughts if we practice looking beyond the event or issue in question. I have found it works. I also try avoiding friends and acquaintances who tend to be more negative. I have been caught in situations with people who seem to have almost adopted "Victimhood" as a kind of new religion. Has anyone else noticed that?
I really like how you get straight to the point and offer such amazing, 'doable' advice! More, you stressed that it's 'normal' to feel negative occasionally, and one can sort out one's own thoughts, without reaching for the phone and moaning about it to others. I completely agree! Wonderful hub...! keep posting...
To myownworld:
Yes, it is "normal", we seem almost conditioned to have to fix or repair every little thing about ourselves that makes us unhappy or gets us down. Being negative is definitely not ok for us, but we can treat it by understanding it. That's my reason for making this hub. I smiled reading how you reach for the phone! Oh dear, we all do that! For guys - it is different - they moan, women "vent". There is a difference. Women work on their problems and talk about them with each other! Our brains are different! LOL! Thanks for the comments!
you don't have any negative thoughts, because you are so active and hubtivity is full of cheeky girl. nice going, keep it up. Very informative hub.
I no longer laugh at this, is serious is good to know now. Good.
Dinkan: Yes you are right, as Cathy says to me - I am all over the place, just that she means it in a totally different way! Heh! Thanks! Yes, I am like a margarine, spreading myself all around! I am a positive person. Kind thoughts from you! : )
Jeeeror: Good that you are not laughing now. What especially made you laugh? Just wondering... : )
this is a lot of encouragement for me.thanks for that.
@ black romeo: I am glad to help a fellow Hubber out! Cheers!
This is good advice. I have learned from this, thanks.
@ sandy: Tis my pleasure!
"Negative mood is quite often magnified when we focus on our feelings." I read a hub mention about the "law of attraction". I think the law apply here. Anyway, good advise though.. ^^
@ William "el-NinO" : Boy that name is hard to type! Heh! So you think the law of attraction applies there somewhere? I am curious to know what you mean by that...
Nice foto! : )
You Go girl. Turning those negative thoughts into productive healthy ones is a hard lesson. I work to do that everyday. And, over time I have become more capable. My philosophy is "stop" and realize the thoughts are there and unproductive. Then, work on believing that life is good and there are better ways of living. In that process I find little gems of life waiting for me.
Keep up the good work. It is important and needed in our world,
Shealy Healy
@Shealy Healy: Hy, happy to get your positive comment here. Thankyou! I like your "Stop" method. There is a dicipline involved and it takes a little persistence to get into the "habit" bit it does work. You are already benefitting from this, Shealy. I can feel the positive vibes coming through the hub! : ) Cheers, my friend! Take care!
Great Post! I am a positive person and try to look into the positive side of things always. Negativity is something i don't want to have. You have written it right that drugs and drinks are no solution to the situation and they only prolong the agony or pain.
Hy Anamika S: It's lovely to get such positive comments! We all hate negativity and this is how we can deal with it, and turn them into positive thoughts. Yes, Alcohol and Drugs are no solution. Just making more problems. Glad you liked the hub! : )
I am always positive, it is good to be one of your friends, I like being with positive people as well, great hub Cheeky, CHEERS, Maita
Hy Maita: I am glad you are a positive person. I am positive too. And I try to give people a push or help where possible. Yes, I value this friendship too, moi friend. I hope you are having a great day! Take care! : )
Great advice...I always try to be the positive one...Negative just begets negative...Wish I'd known that 20 years ago...I don't surround myself with negative people either...I wish them well and walk away.
Hy Tammy; being positive around negative people is hard. And yes, negative begets negative - or "misery loves company" - that's another one I have heard. But some people who may seem negative often struggle with this and try to find the more positive path. That was part of my inspiration to making this hub.
It sounds like you have done some soul searching on this, Tammy. I genuinely try to be positive as much as possible and not be a party poop or whatever. Great to get your comments! Cheers! : )
Great hub. I know that when I've been in the grips of clinical depression or anxiety, it's been very hard to see a way out, as thoughts get distorted. I've figured out some food chemicals trigger a depressed mood, and I have to wait for it to wear off. I found Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) useful for getting a handle on negative thought patterns generated by negative beliefs.
Hello Baileybear: I read your story with interest and thanks for the comments here.Clinical depression can be tough. But you don't have to suffer alone. Having others who know about it helps a lot. You will gain their understanding.
I understand about the food thing. I have a friend who's mood is related sometimes to the food she eats. Apparently, some kinds of Yogurt have an effect, and she is banned from any caffeine products like coffee. A simple thing to do also is to avoid negative people. I try to avoid the "nay sayers" if possible. I deal with some in my job, they can be difficult. But then they work in finance and permanently worry will fall on their heads. But that's another story. LOL! CBT sounds interesting. I am glad you find it useful.
There's a lot to be said for the view of seeing the glass more as half full than half empty. Thank you for the comments here. I loved your hub on Cats! That was so cool!
how to turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts:
well I need to spend more time here with your hubtastic writing and improve the quality of my life - then everything else is gravy - the best tasting gravy to be found on these pages of Hub!!!
Hello epigramman: gosh you are most welcome to read my health-related hubs if you wish! Most of them should help in some way, I hope! We all need a little something to give us a lift every now and then. I have been told I am a positive person, by others. As for spending more time checking my hubtastic writing - thank you for this compliment, moi friend! I write a little bit of everything, so there is plenty of variety here. As for gravy, nothing beats Bisto! LOL! Take care, and you have a great weekend! : )
Hey. Thanks for this article. I just read it when in a negative mood. I think you made a fair point regarding mind over feelings. Still... we tend to act in this or that way driven by feelings, so it's a struggle, a difficult one, a definite one.
Hy Mary: thanks for this, Mary. Well, mind over feelings is very close to what it is. I recently published another hub about assertiveness and gaining confidence, and it touches on similar areas to this hub somewhat. I agree about how we cat, and what drives our behavior. But the minds is responsible for much of this, and there are ways of controlling it and understanding it more. We are all human, and we all struggle with this, and with knowledge, we can learn more and and understand and then lead better lives, hopefully. Thanks for the comments here.
...yes I must come back to this hub and your theme of possessing a positive attitude .......... and this is something which I greatly admire about you - your positive outlook and your hubtremendous generosity and kindness towards other people here at hubpages through your own world class writing and hallowed comments.
You are certainly a gift to the rest of us here - and I feel that you are 'an angel' in my life - yes I feel blessed everytime you drop by and see me - and life dosen't get any better than that - well actually it does - lol lol lol - when I'm here with you and your wonderful array of life affirming hubs .......
Hello Colin, my goodness, the compliments are tumbling out here today! LOL! Well, people do say that about me. My Boss tells me that a lot. And family and others too. I guess I am a positive person. I know I try to be. :)
As for my being a gift. Heh! Is that a roll of Christmas wrapping paper I see in your hand, Sir? LOL! Please don't put me up on a pedestal just yet, I know there's room for improvement. I am a cheeky girl after all. Hehehe! Thank you for the life affirming thoughts and smiles you send my way as always, Colin. But your poetry and sublime humour is very life affirming too. Bless you, moi friend! :) Cheers! Have a great weekend!
Blog is just too good.It will make a negative person towards positiveness in life.
Hy ed burns: ed, you put positivity into my day just saying that! Heh! Thanks! :)
THE NORMAL ADJUSTMENTS IN OUR EVERYDAY LIFE...EXCELLENT!!! ALWAYS FELT THAT WAY..THIS WAS A GREAT HUB.. THANKS I CAN LEARN ALLOT FROM YOU.;0)A POSITIVE AND MOTIVATED HUB. GOOD FOR SEMINARS..
Hello Heart Felt Book! I have started getting into your hubs already, and what a treat they are! Cheers! I am glad you like the hub! Learn - from moi? That is an honor, I don't know what to say! Just don't pick any of my bad habits, I guess! Heh! But yes, I am a very positive person! My partner says that a lot. Cheers! :)
LOL..I CAN TELL THROUGH YOUR HUBS AND PROFILE, YOUR A VERY PLEASANT PERSON... NOT MANY PEOPLE ARE POSITIVE AND HAPPY...KEEP MOVING FORWARD!!!
Hy Cheri! Yes, I am a positive person, everyone tells me that. I rather prefer to not burden friends with my worries, I kind of sort them out in private. So far, so good. I love my friends anyway! H'mm, I'd consider myself more content than happy. Happy is over-rated, though I like being happy sometimes. Aw, anyway, you get the idea, I hope! LOL! My partner Cathy can explain it better than me! Heh! Thanks, Cheri. Love getting your comments!
Hello My special friend - had to drop by for a re-visit. Love this message and hub.
Check out this new hubber - young lady with incredible writing talents.
http://hubpages.com/profile/mylife%3Dadventure
I just know you will love her.... as much as I do you!
Love - Light - Laughter
Neil
Hello my wonderful Neil, I am always glad to see your comments and see you here too. LOL! Thanks for the tip! I love getting tips on new Hubbers! I will check her right now! Cheers, moi friend. I hope life is good with you. Have a tall glass and a smooth one on me. :)
Cassy.
Hi Cheeky Girl,
A great hub on a subject very close to my heart.i am now looking forward to reading more of your work. Thank you so much for sharing and take care.
Hello Eiddwen, confidence is gained from turning those negative moods into positive thoughts. Reteaching ourselves can have a big positive effect on our lifestyle and our relationships too. Glad you liked the hub! Look forward to reading your comments on my hubs, and I will be checking more of yours too! Cheers! :)
Great informative Hub. Not only did this Hub define the problem, suggestions for dealing with the problem were provided. Great information for setting ones thinking in the right direction.
Helleo 6hotfingers3: what an interesting name! You a chef? Heh! I had to ask. I will be reading your food hubs if the ans is yes! About the hubs here, yes those negative thought can become positive thoughts with just a little effort. I try my best to be positive about life, and I love cheering people up too. I am glad you enjoyed this hub, I hope it helped you! Cheers! :D
You are such a gift to us with your writing. I always come to you when I need inspiration.
Hello acaetnna, what a lovely thing to say here. Aaw, you get a big hug for this. Oh my, looking to me for inspiration? I am very flattered, especially by such a great Poet and Writer as you. :D You also inspire and Cathy and I are big fans. Have a Peaceful and Prosperous New Year, acaetnna! :D
nice work i read it its sufficient.
Hy again dusy7969, thanks for the comments. Glad you liked my hub on how to turn negative moods into positive thoughts. Hope you get lots of positivity this weekend, and especially seeing as it's St. Valentine's weekend! :)
Cheekygirl you are such a prolific writer, and your insights in this particular hub are amazing. You make so much sense and your writing style is so easy to understand and relate to.
Hy rosariosblog, aw thankyou for this! :) Well, I try to be positive, and be informative. My friends say I am a "Yes we can" person. Heh! Thanks for saying I make sense. You have cheered up this Cheeky Girl here today. I write hubs for people just like you... :D Cheers! Have a wonderful day!
Good article...so much of what I have learned in life...very good!
Hello Lene, thanks for the comment. Positive attitude really works. With practice, we can train ourselves to overcome negativity. Cheers! have a great day, Lene! :)
I found this hub at just the right time: this week I have had to give myself a good talking to and make an attitude adjustment at work. You're so right to say that when we find out what the problem is we can change our feelings towards it. I did just that and feel a lot better! Great hub - voted up!
Hello Temirah, I hope you are able to get things in work to turn okay for you. I am happy that you found some good things in here, and I hope it helps you in some ways. It's why I wrote this hub! Thanks for the nice comments and the vote too! Cheers!
Cassy.
Great Hub! Action is important when we feel like action is the last thing we want to do. It happens to me to have negative thoughts and to feel very tired. Sometimes I do not know how react, I forget that the key is just do something... And also thinking about the roots of my negativity.
Hey Fucsia! We all experience negative emotions and thoughts at some point or other. Some of it is normal. Things can happen to us or someone might make a snide comment or unkind remark. For women it might be something about our appearance or work or just something that becomes that "topic" they choose to pick on. And it is us who then have the negative mood caused by it. Of course it could be a million other things too.
Yes, action is the last thing we intend but the first thing we should take to combat the negativity. Sharing with a friend or someone we know helps. Getting it out in the open makes it more "real".
It is possible to turn negative moods into positive thoughts. We can do it. We can learn to understand how it happens, what is the root, and how to deal with it. I hope this hub helps you. Have a great day! Thanks for checking out my hub! :)
I like the advice given in your hub. For the longest time I would only concentrate on what was wrong with my life. It took me years to realize I can turn my mood around by changing my thoughts. Very well written, I enjoyed reading it.
Hello Irene! I'm glad the advice is there for everyone to read. And I am glad you are reading here too. Wow, it takes a lot for us to admit when there is something in our life that is or was not right somehow. And the seeing of this one simple thing is the key to turning negative moods into positive thoughts. And it's not some clever parlor trick, it really does work.
The trick is to not do nothing. Doing something does work. And counting what blessings we do have - this is important as well. I hope things are good for you now, Irene. Have a nice weekend.
Maxine 2 years ago
I am a new browser around here. You make some good points about feelings versus thinking. So this is really about mind over matter. I get it. I want to start writing hubs here. You are a fine writer. What do the two different numbers at the top of the page mean?